Twelve {31 Days of Wisdom}

“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,

but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.” {Proverbs 12:4, ESV}

The crown of a person is the outward, public display of their nobility. When a king wears a crown, it’s for all the kingdom to see and understand his noble position.  When a wife speaks well of and respects her husband publicly, she crowns him and esteems him before her community.

A struggle very common to women, especially when we are in groups, is to speak openly and honestly about real life and marriage without trashing our husbands.  Don’t get me wrong. Marriage is difficult and being in a relationship with a human being who has been wired completely differently than you is hard.  Transparency should be welcomed along with laughter and tears. Yet so often, our “sharing” goes too far to the extent of literally bringing shame upon our husbands.

I have a good friend who is married to a man that she lovingly describes as “God’s provision for her holiness.” It is no secret, they have dealt with things in their marriage that most couples don’t survive.  She is also known and deeply loved by many for her openness and her raw sense of grace towards others.  When she talks about the messy parts of their marriage, she is able to do so in a very real way that never puts her husband in a rotten light.  Those of us who know her, love her and we also love her husband and see a good marriage which God has ordained for their holiness and His glory.  It’s truly amazing.

As a result, my friend {her husband}, by the grace of God, has overcome a lot.  He has seen victory and experienced grace as needed, when needed.  God uses his wife again and again to win him over, undo his heart and make him a catalyst for God’s transforming work in others.

Ephesians 5 tells us a man’s greatest need is respect, while a woman’s greatest need is love.  When we publicly criticize, fight with and little by little strip away our respect for them, we literally cause decay. But when we pump up our men when they do right by us, when we speak well of them to those we love, when we remind them how proud we are of them, how thankful we are to feel safe with them, when they provide for us, when they do something to love us well…we are crowning them with respect. And that crown actually makes them stand a little taller, a little broader and more confident.

Another wise friend is always reminding me, “men follow the cheers.”  What dude doesn’t want to follow a woman who puts a crown on his head?

This nugget in Proverbs 12 moves me to be truthful about the challenges Steve and I face in our marriage, but also honest about how good my man is to me and how he really does love me well.

After all, I’m not big on all the princess stuff {for another blog post}, but seriously…what woman doesn’t want to stand by a dude in a crown?

 

One thought on “Twelve {31 Days of Wisdom}

  1. Denise Vroom says:

    Hi.

    Just checking because I have not received any more of these since this one on Friday. Were more sent out?

    Blessings,

    Denise

    Sent from my iPad

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