Trust

Pregnancy is an extraordinary experience.

A person, growing and developing while hidden in the comfortable security of a mother’s womb. 40 weeks of waiting, preparing and dreaming of what will be. I’ve had three mostly uneventful pregnancies, with the exception of a preterm labor with my first and the cord being wrapped around the neck of my second at delivery. Otherwise, I’ve had no reason to worry or be concerned.

This time, I’m a bit older and the odds are supposedly stacked against me and this baby. I’ve been given odds that are not favorable in terms of having a baby with genetic abnormalities. About once a week, I get a call from the genetic counselors asking me if I’d like to come in for more counseling, or if I’ve decided to do any invasive testing.

It won’t make a difference.

This baby is ours and God decided we should have it, not us. Nothing they could say to me would convince me otherwise. I’m well read from books to blogs and community boards on BabyCenter.com, I am familiar with the prognosis, the false positives, the testing available and how to prepare for the “worst.” And in the end, things could turn out just fine.

It’s tempting to go in for the amnio and I’m not opposed to it either. Yet for some reason, I have a sense that God is using this to tell me, this is where the rubber meets the road.

An opportunity to practice my one word for the year, peace.

Do I believe what I teach? Am I convinced of what I know?

Will I trust Him for not just the outcome, but the process as well?

My favorite passage in the Bible, Psalm 139, promises each person, knitted together in the womb of their mother is “fearfully and wonderfully made.” There is no caveat for children born with disabilities or a lower apgar score. It does not give higher value to those who are born “perfect.”

Fearfully and wonderfully made.

So I continue to imperfectly put my trust and hope in the One who made this child in the secret place and is weaving together the person our family needs. His {or her} frame is not hidden from Him who already loves this baby way more than I ever will.

And that, my friends, is a whole lot.

“For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.”

14 thoughts on “Trust

  1. Jill says:

    So well said Suzie. I am right there with you on this issue, as are many of the blooming ladies right now. I think this is a concern everyone has and only God knows the whats and whys. As you say, nothing changes anyway. Thank you for putting into words what many of us are thinking about too. 🙂 Jill

  2. Tawnja says:

    Well said, Susie, and so true. Whatever abilities or disabilities God gives this child, he (or she) will have everything he needs to glorify his Creator God.
    We didn’t find out about our daughter’s special needs until after she was born. If we had known before, it would have made no difference. We love her, she brings great pleasure, and she has taught us much about our Heavenly Father and His plans for our lives.

  3. Alex French says:

    I really admire you….you express your thoughts so clearly and usually God really uses you to speak to me, so I appreciate your honesty 🙂
    On another note- I work in the NICU and the statistics are skewed.. God is in control not the physicians!

  4. Diana Hanshaw says:

    Hi Suzie,

    I had a client a few years ago who was pregnant with twins, but somehow they were connected by the same sack or membrane.I believe the Dr said that they wouldn’t survive and she wanted her to abort. My client refused and we had a time to share and I prayed for her and also Dana Branch prayed with me for her. I continued to pray for her till she delivered. She now has 2 beautiful and perfect little girls. Actually 3, this was her second pregnancy.

    I will put you on my pray list that the Holy Spirit will continue to give you the peace that’s yours in Christ.

    “May the God of hope give you all joy and peace as you trust in Him that you may be filled with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” Rom 15:13

  5. justapen says:

    My wife and I are expecting our first this summer and have been asking ourselves the same kind of questions. No one is telling us to worry about genetic abnormalities or anything, but we decided the first day we found out we were pregnant that it doesn’t matter: the child is God’s and however He decides to make our baby, we’ll love him/her the same. We’ll be sure to include you and yours in our prayers!

  6. Pingback: Fear « Suzie Lind
  7. Mrs. John Jennings, Jr. says:

    Unfortunately due to an abortion in high school that damaged my womb, we lost a baby in miscarriage before my son in the beginning of the second trimester, then another one after that during the first month. When I became pregnant with my son, there were constant problems in the pregnancy, often the doctor advised me not to carry to term. It was the beginning of our walk in trusting the Lord. My son was born 31 years ago with a few health issues but is now married and doing just fine.

    The doctors warned me never to try again but we trusted the Lord twice more before our daughter was born to us 9 years after our son. She too was predicted to have all kinds of problems, she was find until her early teens when she developed scoliosis, but it was treated and she is dealing with a much less severe spine. God is able to supply in the midst of such trials. It is not easy but He is always there. Many blessings to you as you trust the Lord of all.

    Mrs. J.

  8. Karen Davis says:

    From experience my sweet friend I can tell you that having the odds stacked against you is not such a bad spot. You already know this though! Life with children that are wired a little differently is an opportunity not a misfortune. My guess is that won’t be the case for you guys but either way you’ll do great! Congratulations to you and Steve. So many more adventures await you!!

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